Anyways, recently friendship has been on my mind for various reasons. I've been pondering what it means to be a "friend" and what really constitutes being friends with someone.
The definition of a friend according to the dictionary is: "A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts."
In Proverbs 18 it says Proverbs 18:24
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
According to that I guess a friend is someone who you rely on, someone who you like to be around, you trust, and someone who is always there for you. But how do you get to that point? How does it progress and at what point do you feel like you are actual friends? I told you I really have been thinking about this. I've noticed that there are different stages of friendship, there are people that you know and just give a wave to when you pass by or say "hey how are you?" and that's the extent of the conversation, there is also the weird beginning of a friendship where you don't really know the person but you want to but its weird and you haven't figured each other out, there's the established friendship where you know a little bit about the person but not a lot but you will go out and grab lunch occasionally, there is friendship that you know a lot about each other and can share information and joke around but you still don't really know everything about that person, there are friends that you've known forever and are clearly close, then there are friends that you were close with but have grown apart yet you still try to catch up, or there are friends you use to be super close with but have grown apart but once you start talking again you are back to where you left off.
I guess I can't pin-point the spot where you really truly feel like you are friends with a person or how you get to that point. But I have come to the conclusion that I truly want to start actually building friendships. College is great in the fact that you meet a lot of different people and are surrounded by great people but its bad in the fact that some friendships just stay very surface-level. Recently I've realized that I think differently than a lot of people and it may seem weird for me to say but I really feel convicted that a lot of my friendships are so surface-level. I want so badly to get to know people more and on a deeper level and get to the point where I can be relied on completely. Don't get me wrong when I say get to know on a deeper-level I mean on an intellectual and serious level but I also mean a deeper-level where you can just laugh goof around and know that friendship is about goofing around too. Yesterday during club Stephen gave the talk (which he did an absolutely wonderful job) but he said somethings that I was like what!? I didn't know you were struggling with that or I didn't know that's how you thought about that or man I really like that thought. That's when it hit me that Stephen is on my team and I consider my team my friends but I don't know them nearly as well as I'd like. Then I started thinking gosh there are SO many people that I don't know as much as I would like to.
Jesus was an excellent friend He made friendship seem flawless and He truly sought after all of his friends. I think instead of looking at a dictionary definition or trying to figure it out myself it's easier to look at the example Jesus set. His way of making friends was pursing them. So that is my goal I want to actually deepen my friendships. Instead of saying "Oh yeah let's hang out" or "Let's get lunch" or "Yeah we will hang out soon" I want to actually make it happen. I know life is busy but isn't friendship important enough to make it a priority?
I don't think I really came to a conclusion or really brought a lot of insight but here is my challenge for myself and you. No matter what stage your friendship is at pursue people like Jesus and instead of just saying you'll "hang out" or "catch up" actually make it happen. On a daily basis I say I'm going to but my challenge to myself is to make it happen.
With all my love- Cam
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